Crypto Troofs - Monday March 24th 2025

Crypto News

Crypto’s back in the saddle, and Bitcoin’s leading the charge—$88k, after a tidy $84K retest. Ethereum’s pumping 6% to $2,095, and Solana’s ripping 13% to $142—SOL trenches are alive, fam. Shorts got torched, $130M liquidated in the rally, while BTC ETFs pulled $89M and ETH ETFs bled $19M.

Hayes is calling it: $110K next, then a dip to $75K—big swings, big bags. BTC’s 30% drawdown was the deepest in two years, but it’s comfy above the 200-day MA now. IMF’s pegging BTC as gold’s cousin, though transfer volume’s down 50% this month—hodlers are chilling. Dalio’s in, owning BTC as an inflation shield, Saylor’s hinting more buys, Metaplanet grabbed 150 BTC, and Hines is mulling gold sales for crypto. Stablecoins? Bessent says they’ll keep the USD king, and Tether’s landing a Big 4 audit. Sonic’s topping L1 gains with TVL nearing $1B, but BSC and Tron are outpacing SOL revenue, and ETH’s slipped out of the top 20 earners. Tornado Cash addresses are off OFAC’s list, Coinbase is eyeing Deribit, DYDX is buying back, and Coinbase’s onchain profiles are live. Market’s got juice—don’t sleep.

Macro Trad-Fi

The world’s exhaling a bit—NASDAQ’s steady at 17,700, gold’s flat at $3,030. This week’s got U.S. GDP and PCE inflation on tap—eyes peeled. Stock futures are up, tariff fears easing as Trump’s April 2nd plan shifts to “targeted” and “reciprocal”—flexible, he says. Tesla’s riding high, planning 10K Optimus robots this year, with retail piling in like it’s 2020. Hedge funds are shorting hard, heaviest since Covid, but Atlanta-Fed’s recession call is “ridiculous” per Lutnick, and Morgan Stanley’s saying chill—the downturn talk’s overblown. Canada’s PM called a snap election, Ukraine peace talks kicked off in Riyadh, and Trump’s promising a full Russia-Ukraine ceasefire soon. Turkey banned short-selling after unrest, UAE’s dropping $1.4T into the U.S. over a decade, and the U.S. wants Iran’s nuclear program gone. Gold card visas raked $5B in a day, Apple’s cooking an AI smartwatch, 1K’s trialing humanoid bots, and Perplexity’s eyeing TikTok. Egg prices? Down 40% since Feb—breakfast’s cheap again.

Chad-Fi

The degen pits are popping—hot coins like ROUNTINE, TRUMP8, DOWNALD, NIL, KET, FARTCOIN, and ARC are lighting up. Pudgys, Nexus Nodes, Yumemono, and Skyborne NFTs are trending, and SOL meme trenches are wild—runners hitting $20M+. FARTCOIN’s at $575M, flipping WIF as SOL’s meme king, while ARC and ALCH lead AI coins back to $7B. ROUTINE’s $15M, born from a morning routine meme—absurd but bankable. PumpFun’s topping SOL revenue again, WLFI scooped $3.4M in MNT, and Zeus is bringing permissionless BTC to SOL.

It’s a madhouse. just how we like it folks—stack or get stacked!